(N)either/(n)or

18 May 2012
Why?

• Because, perhaps, despite my avowals, I think about the future and I don’t see any. If I do, it scares me.
• Because your bouts of anger are capable of the unthinkable, if not for real, in my imagination.
• Because I worry. And I can’t recall how it feels to not worry about your routine, practicalities, etc.
• Because I hadn’t found myself till I found you, and then I turned into an appendage.
• Because the thought of being alone - without you to fall back on for accusations, or emotional support - is unthinkable, and this is Not how it should be.
• Because I shouldn’t lie anymore.

Because I love you. But it’s not an absolute. Love never is, unfortunately.

Why not?

Because I love you, and now it is difficult to breathe.

28 September 2012 

"It gets better."

What if it doesn't?